Gateway To The Past
by Takagano Dai
Summary: Lightning finds herself being given a second chance, even though she didn't wish for it. On-going.
1. Prologue

**The plot bunny strikes again!**

**I don't really know if it will be finished like this or if I should make a full-out story out of it. At the moment it's only an idea and I'd like some ideas on how to work with it.**

**There should be some typos and probably some words missing as I am pretty tired. The idea just struck me and I typed it up during the last hour or two.**

**Have fun reading. It's probably confusing as hell.**

Lightning looked upon the battlefield with grief in her eyes. She stood alone, a wasteland at her feet. Broken bodies of comrades and friends littering the ground. She didn't know if she wanted to hysterically laugh or cry, weep and break.

A gust of wind ruffled her hair, playing with the pink tresses, pushing and pulling them all around her head. Blood was smeared across her face, clung to her clothes, dried on her hands.

Most of it belonged to enemies long dead. Some was still warm, when she had lifted Hope's smashed body to her breast, trying to keep him alive. It hadn't worked. The boy had died in her arms. Muttering a last 'Mom' into her neck.

She hadn't shed one tear for him, to exhausted to think rationally. But he was gone. Just like the rest of them. Snow had been the first to fall. He had braced himself against the flood of foes, grinning, telling them it would be a heroes death. They had killed him instantly. He hadn't lasted a minute.

Sazh was next. Shielding Dajh, he had emptied the magazines of his guns, shooting everyone that came near them. His son had gotten away alive, naught but a scratch on him. Lightning had cared for the boy, who was all of ten years old. She had treated his wounds, ruffling his hair, letting him cry into her shoulder.

He had pressed himself into her, clinging to the front of her shirt, shouting for his daddy to come back. Of course, Sazh never did. That had been the breaking point for Hope, who had stood tall, picking up a full body armour and his boomerang. He had looked at her with a steely gaze, not wavering as he told her he would go out. Lightning had only nodded, picked up her gunblade and followed him.

She should have gone first. Maybe then he wouldn't have been slaughtered. Maybe then he would still be alive.

She couldn't tear her eyes away from the scene in front of her. The carcasses still steaming in the cold of dawn, the blood still seeping into the ground, making it muddy and slippery to treat.

Lightning wished they had acted earlier. That they hadn't waited for something like this to happen.

Everyone knew would go down soon.

Every single one of them had seen the signs. The beasts going wild, the plants dying. The sickness that spread.

They had seen it, but hadn't done anything against it. Talking it down. Marking it as unimportant. Because they were ignorant. Because they thaught themselves better.

Because they hadn't learned.

Lightning stumbled, loosing her footing in a pond of half blood, half other fluids. She didn't want to think about it as she rightened herself again, tring to stand again. She huffed, exhaustion claiming her senses, making her wary, and cold and emotionless.

It had started weeks ago, really. When the first reports of hightened activity came in. Behemoth's starting to hunt in groups, Gorgonopsid's attacking without reason...

Nobody had looked to deep into it, thinking it was all but a phase. They still didn't know too much about the wilderness of Gran Pulse, about the seasons and how the wilds reacted to it. The only ones who could've helped them were still deeply slumbering in their fortress of crystall. Unreachable for the rest of the world.

Lightning had never thought that she would miss Fang and Vanille as much as now. She was sure that they would have known a way to stop all of this, to help them survive this madness. Whatever is was.

Pushing herself through another row of dead she shuddered.

Amodar. Scewered. Cleaved in half. Dead before he hit the ground.

She choked. What else could she do now. Who would she help by breaking down. Another horde of enemies would probably come soon and she was the last to defend New Bodhum. What was left of it.

Bile rose in her throat as she glanced at him again. She turned away, willing the gruesome image to vanish from her mind. It didn't. She vomitted onto the ground beside her.

A low sob threatened to escape her but she held it back. She couldn't start crying now. She couldn't.

But walking forward didn't sound any better. Lightning knew what she would find. Other faces. More people she knew or had met at least once before. Maqui, Yuj, Gadot, Lebreau. NORA delinquents. Friends. Brothers and sisters in arms. Comrades.

Sniffing a bit more she dragged her hand across her face, rubbing the bridge of her nose. A headache had formed hours ago, but she chose to ignore it. Now it was pounding more furiously than ever.

Breathing in and out a few more times she started to move again. Weaving in between rows and rows of dead, stepping over dunes of ashes.

Cie'th.

They didn't leave bodies, so you would never find any of them here.

Lightning had no idea where they had come from. Maybe Pulse was turning against them in the whole of its being. The planet acting against the intruders from Cocoon. Maybe it was the lingering rage of Cocoon's Fal'Cie, haunting them even down here on Gran Pulse.

If she was truthful, then she had to say, that she didn't want to know. Whatever had happened was bad. That was all that mattered.

How much she wished to be a L'Cie again. Magic and phoenix feathers and more magic and some of them would be alive once more. But fate was against her these days. Serah had fallen ill early on. She was one of the first to cough up her own lung, spitting blood and tissue, shaking from feaver.

Lightning hadn't left the side of her bed, Snow on the other. Both had been there when Serah had fallen into a dreamless slumber. Not dead yet but neither alive. Lightning dreaded the hour when Serah would wake up. She would have to tell her sister that Snow was dead. And Sazh and Hope and most of New Bodhum. That they were the last of the group to survive and that Dajh would live with them from now on.

But more than that she hated the thought of Serah waking up after she had fallen at the hands of enemies. She didn't want her sister to be alone. Not after everything. Lightning would rather cry over Serah's cooling carcass than die with her sister being left behind. Left alone in this world of darkness and infinity.

She stopped once more, the rising sun to her left. Her eyes fell upon the cristallized shell of Cocoon, the pillar that held it up in the air.

Her thoughts returned to the days that she had spend travelling with the wayward group of L'Cie. How they had fought for their lives. The stories that were shared around the campfire at night. The days spend walking through the green of Gran Pulse. How Lightning loved those memories. But she also knew that she had to stop daydreaming. It would just get her killed earlier.

Trying to focus on the world around her, she noticed the wailing. The wind carried voices, cries, yells, shouts. A language she recognized but couldn't understand. It gave her the feeling that she didn't belong.

Standing in the middle of a battlefield, surrounded by broken friends, and the bodies of beasts, Lightning Farron started to halluzinate. Saw ghosts of past people walk around her, tend to themselves.

And then she understood.

There had been fighting here before.

Fang had told her in endless tales of old. How mighty warriors of Gran Pulse had fought the Vipers of Cocoon on just this field. How it had been drenched by blood before. The reason the sand was red if you just dug deep enough.

It all came to her in just a moment. The sadness, the grief, anger, hate, restlessness. So much had happened here. Ghosts from the past calling out to her. Why? She had not the slightest idea. Didn't know how to answer their cries.

But all in all it was like a gate to the past. She could see how everything had happened. How fighters from both sides fell in battle. How much blood was spilled in the War of Transgression.

It was all the Fal'cies fault. That much she was sure of.

Her eyes drifted to the cristall pillar in the distance once again.

'What do you want to tell me? What am I supposed to do?'

No matter how hard she tried to concentrate, the voice around her distracted her, got louder, shriller, just..more.

Lightning closed her eyes. She didn't want to see them, didn't want to watch anyone die again. She forced her body to move away from the battlefield. Where to? Just away.

And then the rain started to fall.

It drenched her from head to toe, washed off all the blood, plastered her hair to her face, made the ground even more slippery than it was before. If that was even possible.

Her gunblade felt heavy against her upper thighs, bumping against them with every step. She didn't find the time to clean it yet, so she ought to do it soon, lest she find it rusted in no time. It had to be functional if she wanted to survive. Keep it in shape.

Her long strides began to grow shorter and shorter until she all but stumbled and swayed on her feet, nearly falling over a loose rock on the ground.

Her breathing was shallow and a cough came from time to time.

Lightning was dead on her feet. But she continued onward.

The colours of the world around her began to swirl and move. Forms began to shift and mix and everything around her seemed just so alive. Shadows danced around her feet. Dust began to pick up.

She had to be dreaming. Or she had a concussion. Maybe both.

When most of the blood had cleared off she noticed the wounds on her arm, on her shoulder. It was strange that she didn't feel any pain, but she guessed that the adrenalin still hadn't worn off.

It was a weird experience. She winced, imagining the sting that would come sooner or later, the pain that would ripple through her. Her left arm seemed strangely detached as she couldn't feel it.

Most people would start to treat the wounds but Lightning knew better. She didn't have any clean bandages on her, nor a first aid kit. Using her own clothes would only get dirt in the wounds and infect them sooner or later.

She rubbed the palm of her right hand across her temple. The headache didn't retreat.

She only looked up again after nearly slamming into a tree. Lightning couldn't focus on her environments.

She was anxious, but she didn't know why.

'What is happening here?'

No answer.

She pulled her gunblade from its sheath, hefting it across her shoulder, hoping that this would intimitade anyone who dared to come close enough.

It clanged when it made contact with her metal shoulder pauldron, scratching across its surface.

'Fang, Vanille. Where are you, when people need you?'

Everything seemed to grow unnaturally silent, even though she hadn't been aware of any noises around her before.

The air grew cold, a frosty wind sweeping over the land. There was no warmth, even though the sun had risen.

She was just a few feet away from the pillar now, tracking the way with the last of her energy.

'My last stand shall be at their feet.'

Lightning stood proud, her back straight, her feet spread shoulderwide. The gunblade rested in her hand, her grip on it was strong. Her knees didn't buckle as she thought they would, her shoulder didn't slump. She clenched her jaw and narrowed her eyes.

The soldier in her whispered to her, battle instincts starting to whizz and she just brought up her blade as a Cie'ths fist crashed into it, making her skid back a few paces.

He blocked the heavy assault, dancing around it, slicing and stabbing and making her enemy go down to its knees. The Cie'th cried before bursting into ashes, being carried off in the wind.

She knew it wasn't the last and the others soon arrived. Beast were there to, Behemoth's growling and swiping at her, jagged teeth sinking into her shoulder, ripping at her flesh. She ignored the pain and killed the monster and then the next and the next and the next.

She didn't stop, she moved in between the foes and let them beat at each other, trying to get at her. They tore at her clothes, but she just rammed her shoulder into the Cie'th nearest to her, making it stagger and fall on top of another. Lightning cleanly cut its head off, throwing herself at the one standing next to her.

The rain hadn't ceased but she was bloodied all over again, and this time it was her own blood washed of from her body.

Her tears mingled with the dripping sweat from her brow. With blood from the gash on her forehead.

Enemies upon enemies fell but Lightning stood. She wouldn't fall tonight. Not after all of this fighting.

When the last of the beasts was laying in a broken heap in front of her she sank to her knees, fighting and struggling for breath. Her muscles screamed and ached. Her bones hurt and still rattled from the blows. The deep wounds on shoulder and arms throbbed.

She was pale and looked worse for wear but she was glad to be alive.

'For Serah.'

She turned her gaze to the cristalline construct behind her.

'For Vanille. For Fang. Should they wake up.'

A smile took over her face, just as hot tears streamed down her cheeks.

'I'm alive.'

She didn't sob, she didn't cry out loud. They were silent tears. A prayer to those that lost their lives.

She leaned her head against the pillar behind her. She needed rest. Desperately.

Her conciousness slipped away, before she could even think about sleep.

And in her dreams, a woman appeared before her, tall and regal in dark black robes. Her outlines fuzzy and hazy and Lightning didn't know if that lady was meant to look like this or not.

'Seeker.'

Her voice was smooth like marble but still had an edge to it.

Lightning didn't remember standing up, but she bowed after the woman had spoken.

'Mylady.'

'Claire Farron. Speak of what you seek.'

'I ain't seeking anything, Mylady.' Lightning said, throat parched, and voice rough and breathing ragged.

The woman came closer but she still couldn't make out any details about her.

'Think. Then speak.'

An angry note had entered the woman's speech. Lightning narrowed her eyes a bit. Thought about the ladys request.

'I'm seeking peace, Mylady. Not for myself, but for those that I love.'

'Truly spoken.' She smiled, Lightning could hear it.

A hand extended towards her, but she didn't immediately grasp it.

'Peace always comes at a price, young human. And your war has started centuries ago. Long before you were born.'

'I know.'

'How do you intend to stop a war that is raging between the gods, young human? Between the Fal'Cie and their maker.'

Lightning bristled. 'I will find a way, Mylady.' She said.

The woman turned around, walking towards, what looked like an ancient throne.

'I am willing to help you, Claire Farron.'

Lightning straightened her back, followed her. 'Why?'

The lady looked at her over her shoulder, gesturing all around her.

'Everyone deserves a chance to live at their fullest.' Falling into the seat, she crossed her legs, the dress she wore loosing its colour and turning stark white.

'And you, Seeker, never had this chance to begin with. Caring for your sister. Fighting to bring her back from crystal slumber. Don't you think it's time that you finally do something just for yourself, Claire?'

Lightning frowned and bit her cheek. She didn't want to yell at the woman.

The lady moved a bit forard in her seat, sitting on the out edge of it and Lightning had the feeling she was staring straight into her soul.

'You are brave, talented, clever. You are not to underestimate. You never hestitate. A noble soldier indeed.' She spoke, more to herself that to the human in front of her.

'If I was to give you a second chance, Seeker, what would you do with it?'

'A second chance at what, Mylady?'

A smile spilled over the woman's face, threatening to split it in half. 'At life, silly.'

'I don't think I would do anything differently, Mylady. I am where I am today because of my choices, my failures and my mistakes. I wouldn't have met the people I met, wouldn't have made friends, wouldn't be who I am.'

She clenched her fist, a growing feeling of uneasyness enveloping her, spilling over her like a cool tidal wave.

'Good answer, human.'

The throne room vanished in front of her eyes and they were standing on the beaches of Bodhum, up on Cocoon before it was crystallized. The waves didn't crash against the shore, instead the water softly spilled onto the sand.

A soft breeze was surrounding them, playing with Lightning's hair and throwing it from one side to another.

Determined, she looked up to the woman, squaring her shoulders.

'I wouldn't do anything differently. So there's no point in a second chance. Give it to someone who really needs it.'

'But I have already chosen, Claire.'

Lightning scoffed, watching the movement of the water.

'Seriously. You're wasting your energy. Let me go.'

A chuckle reached her ears and it made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

'Oh. I guess I will.'

She swivelled around so fast it was a wonder nothing was broken. 'What?'

'Go.' The woman pointed to a gateway that had appeared right beside them. It was made completely out of light, glowing omniously. 'Go back to your life, Claire.'

She vanished in a gust of wind, leaving Lightning to her thoughts. She glanced at the golden arch, eyeing it for anything suspicious. Nothing happened.

She didn't know how long she stood there for. She didn't care.

'I need to get back to Serah.' She muttered.

And so Lightning grabbed her gunblade tighter, her shoulder throbbing with every move, her knees week under the weight of her body and exhausting finally claiming her, as she fell head first into the gateway.

'Wake up, Claire! You're going to be late for school!'

Only then did she register that the woman had wished for 'Claire' to go back to life. In the past, there was no Lightning.

'Claire' just got a second chance at life. A second chance she had never wanted for herself.

'Maybe, just maybe.' She thought. 'This will also be their second chance.'

**Please review to let me know what you're thinking about it.**

**Regards**

**Taka.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One - Lightning Returns**

Lightning had never felt so confused in her whole life. Not after Fang and Vanille had stuck being crystal, even though everyone had turned back. Not when Serah proclaimed that she loved Snow.

It was weird, hearing and seeing things that were long since gone. She was in her old bedroom from when she was a teen. Before her parents had died. Before she had to take care of Serah all on her own. It was strange feeling. So right, but so out of order at the same time. Like she didn't belong here.

Which she didn't, now that she thought about it.

Lightning couldn't really grasp the concept behind all of this. Etro sending her here for whatever reasoning the goddess thought valid. Why she did it in the first place was a mystery to Lightning. Etro loved humanity. That much she had gathered from the old texts. Etro was the one stopping Raganarok in its tracks the first time. To save many lives. But why would she help Lightning and Lightning alone, sending her to a time when everything was still alright? Not into the middle of a battle.

She would have felt way more relieved if she had ended up in a battle and not in the middle of her old bedroom in Bodhum. For Lightning living meant fighting. In one sense or another. Suddenly having this _freedom _was a foreign concept to her. Not having to raise her sword just to see another day. Here - at this time - living meant...just being alive. No further tasks or deeds. Noone planning on taking her down and nobody trying to kill her as she crossed the street. Which did happen back at home. Not every day, mind you. But these last weeks were hell on earth.

Of course it felt good to have a break. Lightning would cherish that moment - hour, week, month, whatever. She would always remember it, would probably cling to it and dream of it in dark times, knowing that peace was just a leap away. Even if it was just in her mind.

She wondered how it would be. Seeing Serah - young, unbleshimed, _not sick _and definitely not _dying_.

Being around her parents again would be akward. She had forgotten so much about them and their habits and how a real family worked...She didn't know if she still fit in such a life. Not after all those years. After all the hardships. After all the things that had happened in between then and now.

How could she look at their mother, remember her own promise to her - taking care of Serah, raising her all alone - and knowing how it had worked out. How she had treated her sister when Serah had told her that she had become an L'Cie. How the Serah from her own time was dying back at home, uncurably ill, without a Lightning to look after her.

How could she look at their father. The proud man that had shown her how to stay strong in her weakest moments. How to alway stand tall and proud but never get a big head. How could she be with him when she knew how egoistical she had been for many years. In her desire to be strong forgotten of all those that cared for her. Had felt hurt every time she sustained an injury. She didn't know if the man would be proud of her if he knew what had become of his sweet daughter.

_Sweet_. Lightning remembered being called that. Sweet little Claire. She had loved her parents and had been loved in return. She had never thought that someday this ... paradise could break apart. Obviously it had.

How hard would it be to live through it all once more? To face the same situation a second time.

Now, Lightning was't too sure about her answer to Etro. _I wouldn't do anything differently._ Wouldn't she? She had changed so much since back then. Had grown up, had matured much faster than most people. Had seen so much, lived through hell and heaven and everything in between. Brigadier-General Lightning Farron wasn't Sweet Little Claire Farron. Not in a long shot. Even Serah had said that. So how could she expect to redo everything. Act like last time, if so much was different.

She wouldn't be able to decide like back than. She didn't think like a teenager, much less a pubescent Claire Farron, trying to please her parents and teachers and who knew who else. She was Brigadier-General Lightning Farron, half a foot in the door of the Tactical Squads and the other over in Expeditions all over Gran Pulse.

She knew how to slay monsters, Fal'cie even. But she didn't know how to be a normal child. A normal..._girl_.

Just thinking about it gave her a headache. How long had it been since she could just be herself without anyone looking up to her or asking for anything. How long since she was _just_ Claire and nobody else? Years. And that fact made it all the harder.

Lightning looked around her, gazing at the rooms interior.

Posters lined the walls and lush blue curtains framed the windows. What nostalgie. That was so weird.

She had woken up seated in the chair next to her desk. Homework littered the wood, most of it still unfinished.

"Claire?" Serah yelled again. "Are you up?"

Lightning didn't know how to answer. She couldn't remember a time when Serah was the one waking her. Telling her to get up and ready. Her sister had long since moved in with Snow after the L'Cie debacle and their marriage. The concept of being woken by something else than her clock was a foreign concept to her.

With half an answer formed she stood up. And gained another strange insight. If - logically spoken - she was back in time, standing in the middle of her bedroom...shouldn't everything look justlike she remembered. At age fourteen - on the verge to fifteen - Claire Farron hadn't been the tallest. Not yet, anyway. She remembered not being able to reach the highest shelf of her cupboard. Not without a chair for help. So why - in Etro's name - was it _not_ out of reach now?

Lightning frowned.

She looked at her hand, scowling at the ripped glove covering it.

She hadn't changed. Not like she had expected to. She hadn't shrunken, de-aged, or whatever idea Serah's time-travel romance novels presented.

_Fuck._

What would she do, once her parents saw her, what would she do, once Serah entered her room?

She was _not_ 14-year-old Claire Farron. She was battle-hardened 27-year-old Lightning Farron, fresh out of battle, clothes still ripped. How could she explain?

_Damn Etro._

Lightning sighed. She turned to her window, one hand gliding through her mussed hair. "Shit."

"Serah! Shut up! I'm coming!" A voice yelled.

Lightning spun around, faster than she could think, sword brandished towards the hidden foe. Only, it wasn't a foe, as much as it was the bathroom door. The voice had come from behind it and Lightning could guess who was in there. Claire. Claire Farron. Her younger self.

"Lady Luck ain't on my side today." She whispered, like a breath escaping her lungs. She remembered Fang saying that, all those years back during their trip. How she had leaned on her spear, smirking even though the world around them had crumbled and there was bloodshed left and right. How she had meant it.

Lightning smiled, thinking back to those days. All of that was so far back, it seemed unreal. As if it had never happened. And maybe it would never happen, depending on her actions here.

She didn't _want_ to change anything. But most of the time everything and everyone acted on its own. She couldn't control it. That wasn't her task either.

Etro had given her chance. A second chance. Maybe she should just try something _new_. That was what the goddess wanted, right? To recreate the timeline. Bring a change to the people. To the world.

She grimaced. How much could one person change? Or was all of it fixed?

Why had Etro given _Claire_ a second chance anyway, when it was Lightning in all her glory that got send back. There was a Claire here, a Serah...a Fang. A Vanille.

"I forgot."

The two of them were still in crystal-stasis from their first focus. They wouldn't awaken from their slumber for another few years. But they were safe. That was more than Lightning could wish for. It also meant she would be alone. Again.

How she had wanted to see Fang again. To be teased by her, to joke with her... To have someone that understood her near. But it didn't work that way. Lightning knew that now.

She turned to the window, looking over the beach of Bodhum. The old Bodhum. The _original_ one.

She was back on Cocoon. Right.

Everything was reset. Nothing had happened yet. Nothing at all.

The people she loved – well..liked – didn't know her. Wouldn't recognize her. She was a stranger in an all too familiar land.

How weird.

Raking her eyes over the rooftops she let her mind take her to days long gone, to adventures and battles long won, to emotions long spent. Days of wandering the world down below, fighting ghastly monsters, camping out under twinkling stars, breathing fresh air, relaxing in hot springs. A past that would be a future here. Maybe. Maybe not.

The click of a lock roused her from her day dreams. In a second she would stand before her younger self, would have to explain herself. How?

Etro be damned.

"Shit." She cursed, searching for cover, finding none.

"Serah, are you in my room? I told you not to come in without my permission!"

Her blood went cold, her heart pounded in her ears. The world slowed down.

The girl stepped out of the bathroom.

Fourteen. _Fourteen._ So young. So innocent. Yet.

She wore shorts and a plain shirt, draped over her small frame. Lightning scowled. She wasn't used to this version of herself. No muscles, no scars...

Claire didn't look at her. She was headed for the door instead. Back turned to Lightning, she ruffled a hand through her hair and straightened her shirt out.

"Huh." She stopped. "I could have sworn Serah was in here."

She spun on her toes, eyes meeting Lightnings.

And then she screamed.

Well. Lightning didn't know anyone that wouldn't have screamed, with a stranger in your bedroom. Except her and Fang. Speared and hacked to bits.

"Who - who are?" Claire demanded, pushing herself to the wall near the door, probably waiting for someone to come up, not ready to turn her back on her. Who would, really?

Looking down at herself, she first noticed the state she was in.

Clothes tattered and torn.

Blood smeared over her whole body, so much in her hair that it was red instead of pink.

She still had her gunblade in her hand, chipped and some pieces broken off.

How she must look to the kid.

"What are you? A murderer, a thief? I warn you!" Claire yelled. "My dad's in the Corps! He knows how to deal with you!"

Her voice got steadier and louder with each word, showing that she didn't feel as threatened as she should. But Lightning could see the fear in her eyes, the cold sweat building up on her brow, her jaw clenched. That was more of a proof than she wanted. The girl was just that - _a girl_. Never having been in battle, never having had to face death...never loosing anyone close to her. Not yet anyway, if time went the way it did in her past.

Lightning slowly positioned her gunblade behind her back, not ready to stash it away or let it drop to the ground. She had slept with that thing the last months, thinking of putting it away made her cringe. She held her other hand shoulder high, in a calming gesture. Lightning would have said something, anything, if she could only find the right words. But she didn't. Her throat was constricted, her mouth dry. She couldn't keep her eyes away from the kid. From _herself_. Her breathing slowed and she had the faint feeling that she would black out soon enough.

Claire yelled at her again, head half turned towards the door, waiting for her parents to come up.

"No." Lightning whispered. She couldn't face them yet. Not like this. Not now. She wanted to run, to bolt from the room, but her feet were rooted to the floor, glued to the spot she stood on. _I can't._

Both of them heard the footsteps on the stairs, the thundering of racing feet. The door to Claire's room burst open.

Lightning's heart stopped.

_Dad. Mom._ Her glance wavered to the person behind them. _Serah._ Young...healthy.

If this had happened weeks back she would have cried. But as it was..she had shed her tears for her friends, her comrades. Her family. There were none left and she was glad for that. How would it have looked to them if she had started crying because of nothing. Insane.

"Claire, get here!" Her mother shouted as her father pulled the girl behind him. He pushed himself to his full height - imposing, even though he wasn't the most intimidating figure she'd ever met - and levelled his gun at her.

"Put your weapon down and place your hands behind your head!" Her father ordered, finger placed on the trigger. "Or I'll shoot!"

She wanted so desperately to follow his command. Wanted to just do what he said. But after all those years of fighting, of PSICOM hunting them down, of battling monsters, her instincts won the internal battle and she spun into motion. He squeezed the trigger. The bullet missed. Not just nearly missed but widely. She had been out of his sight the moment she had moved, fast as her namesake. Lightning tackled him to the ground, ripped the gun from his hands and threw it to the other side of the room.

Her hands moved to his neck, the urge to break it nearly overwhelming it.

"Dad!"

But not with Serah's voice in the background. Lightning pushed herself away from him, her back hitting the side of the bed. The gunblade dropped into her lap as she burried her face in her hands.

They eyed her warily. Her father couldn't get to his gun, seing as she was sitting between him and it. Her mother shoved both Claire and Serah behind her, attempting to get them out of the room.

"Who are you?"

Her head rose at the question, looking straight into her fathers eyes. He was surprised, just a moment ago he had been prepared to die. He startled when their eyes met. Hers were the same shade as his. The same shade as Claire's. Just so much older.

And she could see the gears in his head moving, could see him reach for a solution he would never be able to find. Because who in his right mind would think about time-travel? Would think about his adult child sitting blood soaked before them? Nobody. If Lightning had been in _her_ right mind at the time, not tired after constant fighting, not crazed after her apparent meet with Etro, her _dead_ parents and a younger version of herself..well..she would have reacted differently. Not like _this._

"I'm from the future."

_Seriously? That all you can say?_ She asked herself and couldn't but notice that it sounded quite like Fang's voice in her mind.

They stared at her, probably thinking she was a lunatic. Claire scoffed, glaring at her, Serah looking on with wide eyes. Her father scowled - a perfect copy of her own - while her mother had both eyebrows raised incredulous.

And then - like a miracle - both her parents noticed the blood dripping out of her pink hair, the name stitched to the sleeve of her uniform, the stripes that just yelled her rank and - of course, who wouldn't notice it - her gunblade. The same her father had in his wardrobe. Sure - it was modified, and polished and whatnot, but it was still the _same._ Her mothers eyes dragged back to her face - past all the medals and pins - hooking at something she knew only existed once. The top of the lightning shaped pendant could just be spied at the collar of her uniform, hanging around her neck together with Serah's engagement necklace and one of Fang's beads.

"No." Her father whispered, just like she had moments before. "That's...that is impossible."

"I thought that too." Lightning answered, ripping both adults from their thoughts.

"Y-you are..." He trailed of, not knowing how to continue.

"I'm sorry." She murmured. "I didn't want to come here. I hadn't much of a choice."

If Lightning had been able to lift her eyes off her bloody hands for a moment she would have noticed how her mother had let go of Claire and Serah. And so she was startled as the woman kneeled in front of her, lifting her chin with a finger.

"My daughter." She breathed. "But which one?"

The answer should have been logically, seeing as Lightning couldn't envision Serah - any version of her, really - sitting here like this. The youngest Farron was not cut out to be a soldier and would never be. That should have been the reasonable answer to the question.

By looking at her mothers face, Lightning knew what she did. Knew that her mother was pretty sure which one was sitting in front of her. But she wanted to hear it. From _her_ mouth.

"Claire." Lightning said before she was pulled into a hug.

Her father had stumbled to his feet in the meantime, helping both of them up into a standing position, his eyes raking over her bloody - dripping - body. Her mother hadn't let go the entire time, even though the stench must have had her stomach churning. Serah and Claire didn't seem to understand, even though they happened to get the gist of things. Enought to know to be quiet until everything had settled down.

"Well." Her mother parted. "I guess...well." She inhaled and exhaled a few times before starting anew. "Something like this isn't happening every day, so I'm not really sure what to do." She chuckled, processing everything. "But I guess you'd want a shower." She gestured at the ruined clothes. "And a new outfit, probably."

Lightning could only nod, to unsure of her words. She looked over each of them, still staring at her. But differently now. Lovingly - her mother -, wary but sort of proud - her father. Confused - the kids. Lets see what the rest of the day would bring. Maybe the dead would raise and the Fal'cie would grill her alive.

Who knew?

* * *

Even if she was killed now, at least she was clean.

She hadn't felt so..spotless in days. Not sweat, no tears, no blood. Even her muscles had relaxed under the hot water. There had been fresh clothes - her dad's training outfit it looked like - in front of the bathroom door, and she had glady taken them.

But now it was time to face business.

Lightning could only guess how her parents felt, and she had been happy to escape their gazes at least a few more minutes. She reached the bottom of the stairs with her heart beating loud and hard. She could hear it pounding in her ears. There was cold sweat forming at the back of her neck.

What was she afraid of?

She had killed Fal'Cie, she had faced death many times over. Was meeting her parents that bad? Yes. Because now she would see if they were proud, or if they would resent her. She would see how they would take to her lifestyle, to her deeds. She would finally know.

She rounded the corner, seeing them seated around the kitchen table, coffee and food at the ready.

Lightning smiled. It was like coming home to Serah after a particularly long and tiring day at the Corps. The difference were the people sitting at the table, tense and trying to put up smiles.

The soldier sat down at the head of the table, opposite her father.

"So." He started, but not continuing in lack of conversation material. How do you start such a talk? _How's the future? Got any kids yet?_ Fang's voice again.

"So." She agreed.

What a talk.

"You're...me." It was a statement, not a question. Lightning turned to Claire, not backing away from the stare. She knew that one, saw it everyday in the mirror.

"Yes." She answered. The girl only nodded, not saying anything else. Serah jumped in for her though.

"And you're from the future? How come you're here?" The little one piped up. Well - _little one _wasn't entirely true. Serah was twelve after all. Still a child in her eyes.

"I don't know." She shook her head.

"You should know something like that, don't you think? People usually don't just randomly pop up in the past."

Lightning stared at Serah, seeing so much of Vanille in her at that moment. She frowned.

"Of course I know, _how_ I got here. I just don't know why." She paused. She did know the answer. But that would sound ...insane.

_More insane than the actual truth. Sure..._

"You don't have to answer that, Claire." Her mother smiled at her. She had accepted the fact of a weird time-travelling daughter. Mothers instincts, or whatever.

"Don't." The soldier said.

"Don't what?" Her father asked, interlacing his hands on the table.

She frowned. "Don't call me Claire. I..I haven't been Claire since...in quite a while." She gulped, not sure how to tell them they would die in the near future. Or would they? How much could she change?

"What else would we call you?"

_Sunshine. _She looked up, sitting ramrod straight, with authority backing up her words. "Lightning. Call me Lightning."

They were baffled, not knowing how to respond.

How much she wished Snow was here - and yes she would only wish that once in her entire life. He would make some stupid joke or tell them a story about their past adventures or brag with his heroics in front of a younger Serah...it all would be better than this akward silence that reigned in the kitchen.

Her father chuckled.

"At least your fast like lightning. Took me by surprise up there." He gestured to the ceiling. "Where did you learn to do that?"

"GC."

He beamed, and suddenly she felt like ten again when he had shown her a move with his sword. She spied Claire, whos eyes had started to gleam, obviously proud of her future accomplishments.

"GC, huh? Always knew you'd end up there!" He hollered, puffing his chest.

Was this happiness, burning in her chest? Was this pride?

"And a pretty high rank too." Her mom pointed out. "At least if that was your own uniform and you didn't sew your name on some else's."

The thought was ridiculous, really. That was something Snow would have done or Lebreau or Maqui.

She didn't really answer the statement.

"What are you going to do now?"

Trust herself to ruin the mood._ Such a ray of sunshine back then already, huh._

"What I'm going to do?" She spoke aloud. She wasn't sure. What could she do, really? There was no place for her in this world. This time. There was already a Claire Farron, happy at that. She didn't belong here, didn't fit. Never would.

Most of the people she knew from her own time hadn't even met her yet. The only one that had, really, was Serah. Which was no big help. What had Etro thought, sending her here? She couldn't do anything.

Why hadn't she popped up the day of her twenty first birthday? Saving Serah, getting everyone out of there save. Knowing what to do.

_Ya know the answer to that, Light. _

_Do I?_

_Yeah. You can make the most changes right here. Make sure your younger self stays safe, make sure she and Serah grow up with parents. Let Hope grow up with a mother. Make a change, when those fuck'n Fal'Cie don't expect it._

Lightning started, nearly upturning her cup of coffee. The Fal'cie. They didn't know...

"Cla-uh Lightning." Her mother called out. "Everything alright?"

"Yes." She shut her eyes. "I just ..." Maybe. Maybe she could have some allies sooner than later.

"I just thought I might visit some future friends." She offered.

Her mother smiled. "That's great. But..they won't know you, will they?"

Lightning smirked. "That won't matter."

"Well then." Her father grinned. "Where do those friends of yours live?"

She stood from the table, one hand fiddling with the anti-grav-unit in her glove.

"Euride"

**A/N:**

**I don't like this chapter. But it had to be done, so here it is. I don't think it would have gotten any better, no matter how long the writing of it would've taken.**

**I also don't like how it's ending but I didn't want to stretch it out even further.**

**Dialogue isn't my strongest point but ..yeah..I do think this fanfic will live off the dialogue. **

**I'm not sure if I should give names to Lightnings parents as I'm not really good with OC's. They won't play too big of a role in the story, but they do have to be there.**

**Now..**

**Please review.**

**Next.**

**Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. It's nice to see that people appreciate your work and offer tips on how to do it better. You're awesome!  
**

**Regards**

**Taka**


	3. Chapter 2

Claire stared. And stared a bit more. And a bit after that.

That was herself sitting there. An older, more experienced version, that had come from the future! But a future – she couldn't but notice – that wasn't in its best state. The clothes and injuries told her more about that than Lightning ever could.

_Lightning._

What a strange name to choose, if you had the whole world of names to choose from.

Claire wasn't too sure what to think about her. It was _herself,_ alright. But at the same time it wasn't. This woman – and surely she was a full-fledged woman given her age – was a trained soldier, with much more experience than she could ever hope to gain. But she would, wouldn't she? That's how time worked. As it goes on you turn into what your meant to be. Right? Claire didn't want to think about it too much.

She had watched Lightning while the 'conversation' with her parents went on. She looked so...frail, while trying to look so strong. She also looked tired – like she had spent the last days without sleep. She radiated a deep sadness that made her look broken beyond belief. Claire wasn't sure if her parents could see that too. The way they acted they didn't. But parents were always good hiding distress from their children.

To say it made Claire sad herself was an understatement. It's like your future is sitting right before you and you know everything will go wrong. Like you can't change what's right in front of you. Unavoidable. It hurt, too. Claire wanted to know why Lightning was so sad, but she was afraid of the answer. Scared of her fate. Because she couldn't just deny that Lightning was _her. _Claire _would_ one day become Lightning, right?

She looked her counterpart over once more. Now that the blood had been washed out of her hair, it was pink once more, just like her own. It had a strange cut but it didn't look too bad. Maybe she should get that one too...

Before her mind could drift off any further, dad asked about Lightning's future actions. After a bit of thinking and mulling the answer was simple.

"I just thought I might visit some future friends."

Friends? Could she meet them too? See what kind of people she would hang out with in the future?

She would've missed Lightning's answer to the next question hadn't she stood up from the table, righting the glove that she had obviously cleaned during her bathroom trip.

"Euride."

The gorge? The place where one of Cocoon's Fal'Cie resided.

"I'm going there with my class."

The attention was diverted to her and she shrank under Lightning's stare. Maker, the woman was scary.

"When?"

"Sometime next month." she answered, curious to know if Lightning would be joining in on her class trip. She looked to her parents, seeing how they watched the woman with the same expression on there faces.

Lightning shook her head and sat down again, exhausted all of sudden.

"That ain't early enough."

_Ya forgetting somethin', sunshine._

_What?_

"Lightning?" her father spoke up. He looked concerned, worried about her drifting off. "You were spacing out."

She bit her lip, watched as Serah huddled closer to Claire, whispering something in her ear that made her blush.

"Do you want to eat something?" her mother asked, "You must be hungry."

"No, thanks. But a coffee would do."

_What am I forgetting? Fang?_

No answer. Stupid voices in her head.

"Say, Cla-Lightning." Serah caught herself mid-word. "Those friends of yours...is there, maybe I mean, a boyfriend?"

The eager tone in her voice made Lightning cringe – not visible so, but still. Her sister had always been the curious one and relationships were seemingly on the top of the list of questions. Serah was only twelve, but had that smile on her face that would last another twelve years until it broke into a pain-wrecked grimace. If she couldn't change anything, then her sister had already lived half her life. What a miserable thought. What unimaginable pain.

Lost in her thoughts she forgot to answer, forgot where she was, until her mother set the coffee down in front of her.

"There you go, honey."

She snapped away from the memories, from the guilt and the heartache and nodded.

"Thanks." She paused. "Mom."

How long had it been since she had spoken those words. How long since Hope gurgled a last 'Mom' into her shoulder. She dived back into remembrance, head first, lost to everything but the ghostly cries inside her mind.

"Lightning?"

_Heads up, sunshine. _

Her father's hand was on her shoulder, softly shaking her from the delirium. "You sure, you're okay? You looked pretty ..banged up when you 'arrived'."

His eyes were filled with concern for her, his image overlaying with an older Serah's. Lightning willed those thoughts away, trying to focus on the people surrounding her.

"I'm fine." she breathed. "Just..lots on my mind."

"Okay."

Her hands were around the mug of coffee, her eyes on her sister. She still waited for an answer.

"No boyfriend."

"Aaaw, come on." Serah pouted. "You can't tell me that! You're like..._old_ and you still don't have anyone? You're soooo lying."

"She's not! If she says she doesn't have anyone, then she doesn't!" Claire argued back, folding her arms in front of her chest, just like Lightning often did. It made her smile. Not a noticeable one, just one of those that her friends would have picked up. A tiny lift of the corner of her mouth, barely there, but more than she would ever admit.

"You're living alone then?"

Her mother had leaned back into her chair, eyes roving over Lightning's body, taking in every detail.

The soldier shook her head.

"Not really, no." At the inquiring gaze from both her parents she continued. "I got friends crashing on my couch practically every other night. Never gets quiet."

And she was glad. She had found friends, no matter what others believed. She might not have liked them in the beginning but having them around helped to forget. Helped with everything.

Lebreau had shown her how to mix drinks, much to her own amusement. Light didn't like drinking too much, but she valued the cocktail nights she'd have with Serah and Lebreau. Hope would join in from time to time, while Snow wisely kept his distance. Maqui and Yuj had come with the bartender once, and what an evening it had progressed to be. Nice days those had been. Long since gone, memories fading.

"Are the ones you're going to visit your best friends?"

Lightning stared at Serah, not that harsh and cold glare she usually dished out. It was thoughtful. She wasn't sure how to answer. So she just shrugged. Serah huffed and settled back in her chair.

The questioning would have continued, had Lightning not looked at the clock, hanging on the wall.

"Say." she started," I'm pretty sure you should be in school by now, or not?"

The kids looked like does in the headlight and with a yell scrambled off to find their stuff.

"I should write them a note." her mother excused herself from the table, leaving Light and her father alone. An awkward silence spread over the table, settling on them.

Nobody wanted to be the first to speak, Lightning being comfortable with listening to the noises above. Since Gran Pulse had turned on them, so many had died. The constant running and yelling in her house had subsided until it had turned to low murmuring and shallow coughing. It had been depressing, dropping the moral of the last survivors until it had dispersed into nothing. Hearing this ruckus made her happy, it warmed her heart in a way so unlike anything else.

"How old are you?"

Her fathers voice starled her, making her look at him. He was smiling at her, like she was still a child - would probably always be in his eyes. With a handwave he motioned her to answer, curiositiy sparkling in his eyes.

"Twenty-seven." she murmured, avoiding his eyes. Since when was she so ... _unsure_ of herself? Lightning rightened herself in her seat, staring her father in the face. His smile had never wavered. He folded his big hands in front of him, thinking about an other question to ask.

"That makes thirteen years, huh? It's a long way to go." he said, oblivious to the turmoil in her head. Something about that sentence struck a nerve in her. She just didn't know what it was. It was like an itch at the back of her mind. She nodded without giving a straight answer, once more listening to the noises above.

"It's nice, isn'it? Children fill the house with love and life." Dad said to her, a grin plastered to his face.

"Yeah." she answered, the corner of her lips pulling upwards. "I wouldn't know."

"Ah, so what you told Serah was true then? No boyfriend?"

"No."

He pulled the same face that Serah had earlier, scrunching his eyebrows together. Obviously he had thought that she hadn't been telling the truth, hiding a wedding ring beneath the blue glove. Lightning slowly shook her head, comparing her sister and father with each other. They were so similiar to each other that it hurt.

"Dad?" Serah's voice interupted her musing and she turned to the girl in question. She was standing in just inside the kitchen, holding a slightly crinkled sheet of paper. Oh. Lightning knew what that was about. "I know we have to go in a few minutes, but could you help me? Just for a second."

"Sure, honey. What do you need?"

"My history homework." Serah answered, slightly flushed in the face. She had never been the best history student. "We have to collect facts about the War of Transgression and how the Fal'cie helped us with surviving the Pulsian Invasion."

_Invasion my ass. Cocoonian bastards attacked us, not the other way 'round. An' it's -_

"Gran Pulse."

They turned to Lightning, staring at her with unveiled curiosity. Dad was the one to speak up, asking for confirmation.

"Lightning?"

She clenched her jaw before loosening it again and said: "It is Gran Pulse, not Pulse. Don't let them tell you anything else." She wondered if she should tell them what else she knew about the Fal'cie and their goals but she surpressed those thoughts and listened to her father explaining what he knew about the war. She heard the lies the Fal'cie had spred over hundreds of years, saw how Serah wrote them down but didn't say anything. It wasn't her place. What would they do once they knew that their whole lives had been build on a fundament of lies and betrayal? Nobody would believe her.

In the end, she just watched, mulling over her own plans for the future. A future so uncertain and yet so clear.

"...and that's the reason the vestige is here in Bodhum." her father's voice drifted over to her. _The vestige? _Home of Anima. The place where Serah had fulfilled her focus. Where Lightning had become a L'Cie. "One can't enter it, though, since it is closed off."

It had been open in their time, Lightning remembered. She had entered it together with Sazh, Serah had gone there a few days before.

_And why ain't it open now, sunshine?  
_

_Because - _

Oh. _That's_ what she had overlooked earlier. 'Thirteen years' her father had said. Thirteen _days_ it had been from Vanille and Fangs awakening to her being branded. It was the vestige. All had started there.

_Got it._

She didn't need to go to Euride. Vanille and Fang were both still stuck in Bodhum and had only gone to Euride after they had awoken from their slumber. Lightning had it mixed up. Euride was the place where they had separated and where Dajh was branded, not the other way around.

"Thanks, dad!" Serah chirped and stormed off, searching for the last of her stuff.

"Gran Pulse, huh?" Lightning turned to her father, seeing his questioning gaze. "Who told you to call it that?"

She shrugged, not willing to give too much away. "A friend."

"The friend you're going to visit?" he asked, zeroing in on her. She tensed, nodding once. "Who are they?"

Lightning didn't want to look at her father, the proud soldier, while thinking about her pulsian comrades. What would he say once he knew? Her mother then entered the room, a little note in her hand, ready to give it to one of her daughters. Her father's eyes silently transmitted the message. _We will talk later._ No use in worrying mom after all.

* * *

She spent most of that day in her old room, trying to collect her memories. It was harder than she thought, finding the right order of things that had happened. Bodhum, Vile Peaks, Gapra Whitewo - _Lake Bresha, shit._ Had they met Raines before or after fighting against Barthandalus? Why did she forget? Those travels had ment so much to her at that time. Survival of the fittest.

Family. Fang.

Vanille. Hope.

Sazh and the oaf.

Lightning didn't get hit over the head one too many times, did she? She had fought, she had survived, yet she could not remember her past as clear as she should. Maybe Etro had a hand in that. Didn't want her to walk along those old paths.

As soon as she met Vanille and Fang she would have to explain, even though she thought that there might be a bit of 'resonance'. All of them had been branded by Anima once upon a time. All of them had had the same focus, or at least their focus would have the same consequences at the end. She had been a Master L'Cie, being way stronger and better at controlling her powers than either of them were. There should be no reason for them not to believe.

"Maybe I'm just too naive."

_Or maybe ya jus' forget that they ain't us. _

"True."

_Maybe they won't even wake up. Don' forget that possibility, Light._

"I'm not."

She wondered when she had started having whole conversations with Fang's voice. Before or after she had that daydream about a young - even younger - Hope clinging to his mother's hand while she walked him to school. A dream where Sazh had just learned that his wife was pregnant. Where a teenage Snow was hanging around with Gadot and Lebreau, planning mischief, not yet tall enough to be considered a giant.

The thing about this voice was, that it made her remember. It reminded her of the old days, when crossing the huge planes of Gran Pulse had been everything on her mind. When you had to bend your head back, just to take a glimpse at Cocoon. When killing Fal'Cie was a weekly feat. It sounded like Fang, alright. Teasing inclusive. The voice annoyed her, but it also made her smile. She was happy to hear it, since it brought all those memories along. Camping in the wilderness of Gran Pulse, roasting meat over an open fire, sleeping under _real_ stars. It was nice to remember those small things. It seemed like whole lifetime away, though. As if she had read it somewhere, strangle detached and yet so emotionally connected. How weird.

Lightning thought, that maybe she was going crazy. That all of this was just a dream she was having at the foot of the cristall pillar, the base of Fang and Vanille's frozen forms. A long hidden wish to change what had happened. Maybe nothing of this was real. How weird would that be anyway? Jumping back in time. Her parents just _accepting_ the fact that she was there. Something like that was impossible, and deep inside she knew that.

She opened her eyes, taking in everything around her.

It was just like she remembered. But why wouldn't it. If it was nothing more than a dream, nothing _should_ have changed. Her mind would only be able to project what it had registered years prior. Maybe a photo of the recent past would pop up, some notes she had written hours before departing. The letter and holo-message she had left for Serah.

The next stage would be seeing Fang or Vanille in a crowd of people. They would repeat one of the conversations they had held with her all those years ago. Her mind would just throw it all together and mix it up. She would get confused and the dream would break down, collapse.

She would wake up and find herself back home. If she could still call it 'Home', devastated as it was. Nothing of this would ever have happened.

But...

Somehow she got a feeling deep, deep down in her gut that told her that this was real. Wishful thinking, maybe. Who could tell.

Lightning was staring out the window, noticing yet again the lack of the pillar. It reminded her that this was Cocoon, not Gran Pulse. Past not future. It left her gobsmacked all over again. She felt lost.

"Lightning."

She turned to her mother, who stood in the doorway, holding a cup. Probably coffee, the way it smelled. Mrs. Farron smiled at her, just the way Lightning remembered her to.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure."

Her mother walked slowly but determined over to the bed, sitting down with all the grace in the world. She handed the liquid energizer to her daughter, taking in all her features over and over again, like it would be last thing she would see.

"How are you feeling, honey? You look pretty exhausted."

Lightning shrugged, not really knowing how to answer as she wasn't usually the one people were worried about. Everyone had always known that she could stand on her own, live another day and be able to tell the story. Her mother didn't know, she wouldn't be around to see her daughter grow up. Wouldn't be able to see her fail so miserably to protect everything she loved. Lightning still not sure how to react to her mothers presence. It was so weird, seeing her alive and well. It went against everything that she believed in. Her gaze moved to her mothers chest, to the pendant resting beneath a layer of clothes. The same one she wore. The same one that Vanille had stared at for hours on end, to finally ask her if that was where her name came from.

"What's on your mind, honey?"

She blew a stray strand of hair from her face, staring into the waste blackness of coffee.

"I'm thinking about changing ... pretty much everything, mom."

"If you think that's the right thing to do."

Light turned to her left, looking her eyes with her moms.

"You make it sound so easy."

A soft laugh penetrated the silence of the room, chiming like bells on christmas eve. It made Lightning's heart flutter, raising the hair at the back of her neck.

"My daughter from the future appeared inside my house. Don't you think that nothing seems impossible to me anymore?"

A frown marred Light's eyebrows and she put the cup to her bedside table. Licking her lips, she deeply inhaled one more time.

"Haven't you asked yourself why I'm here? What went wrong back...home?"

Her mother's eyes travelled to her neck, watching the tooth-shaped pendant swing along the leather necklace. A present from Fang, just before the end. A sign of friendship and trust or whatever. She hadn't dared asking about it when Fang had handed it with a glare that could take down a Behemoth. Lightning guessed that Vanille had pushed her to make it, suggesting it after they had recognized the danger ahead.

"I'm curious, of course. But I'm your mother and I do pride myself with hard earned patience, after raising two stubborn kids." the woman smiled, putting one of her hands over one of her daughter's. "I'm waiting for you to tell me. Until then I can only guess."

A smile flittered over her face.

"Thanks, I guess." Light said, squeezing her mom's fingers just like she had Serah's after her sister had fallen ill. Her hand was soft, never having held a weapon before. So unlike her own. The digits moved over the calluses, earned from years of practising and fighting with her gunblade and some other weapons. Her own hands were so rough in comparison to her mothers. The hands of a soldier. Of a murderer. Of a monster.

"When you arrived," her mother said "I couldn't believe what my eyes saw, my ears heard or my heart felt. But with every second I see so much of Claire in you. I can see that she will grow up into a beautiful and determinded woman, so headstrong, so tough. So much like your father, too. The way you stand, the way you talk." She caught their entwined hands with her other, her thumb over Lightning's palm. "You grew up into such a strong person. Just like I always knew you would. You might never want to talk to me about the time you come from, but if you do, I'll be there for you, and I trust you to do the right thing, no matter what it may be. You're my daughter, I love you unconditionally."

Lightning's breath couldn't escape her throat, and she felt strangled. How could any person be so...lovely, so loyal, so trustful of another she didn't know.

It was so like Serah that she saw her sister's image for second, holding her hand, talking her out of her latest depression. She wouldn't spill any tears over it, she couldn't. But her mother saw straight through her stoic face, her lips pressed tightly together, the clenched jaw.

"We've seen it, honey. Don't hide it."

This might not have broken the damn but it pretty well cracked it. Lightning was shaking. Not to excessive, but enough for her mother to notice it. Enough for her to embrace her in a warm hug, stroking her hair. Just like she had done all those years ago. _A lifetime ago._

"Thank you." Lightning said long after she had composed herself. Her breathing had evened out once more, only her heart beat a little harder than usual.

Mom smiled at her softly, continuing to stroke the pink tresses. She didn't say anthing though, silently hoping for her daughter to spill what was on her mind. Not that she did. An easy silence settled over them, making it easier for the soldier to gather her scattered thoughts.

"Bad stuff will happen, mom." she started, knowing she couldn't tell too much. "Really bad stuff. Not now, but in a few years. I-I think I'm here to change that. But I'm not sure...it's all so messed up, mom."

Lightning tried - she really tried - to bring the conversation with Etro back to her mind. Ten minutes ago it was as clear as day but suddenly it was fuzzy as if years had passed between then and now. She thought that maybe Etro didn't want her to tell others about it. But reviewing it as much as she could and reflecting it one thing struck her as weird. Etro was responsible for the dead and the dead only, wasn't she?

_Did I die?_

**A/N:**

**Did Lightning actually die? Or is all of this just a _dream_? That's what all of us are wondering, right?**

**First of all: Thank you for all the reviews, I greatly appreciate it, guys! They motivated me to go on with this one first, even though I should've updated my other fics since ages.**

**Now, I can't promise that I'll update any time soon. Pretty much like always. Let's see how much time I can spend on writing these next days/weeks.**

**If you have anything to complain about, please review. If not - still review.**

**Thank you very much!**

**Taka**


End file.
